was all it took
silver capped teeth / jm
his designer jeans
the cutting edge / ws
pink bougainvillea
when the wind blows
on the fence / jm
screen savers
to fit any mood...
just that easy! / ws
cute little kittens
left in the trash / jm
windows
of the tenement
painted shut / ws
a rengay poem by
John Merryfield and William Sorlien
.
6 comments:
Hee-hee! Saved the butterflies in the next draft.
'the cutting edge' is such a great line... so much can be done leading from it.
'...kittens'; that's why I like writing with you.
Love that last verse willie!
Hey John, sounds like it's time for baja again!
I just realized we may have kannobiraki with 'screen savers' and 'windows'.
John, what if we switched L2 and L3of the 'pink bougainvillea' for a smoother phonic flow?
Don't want to change your intent, or emphasis, though, if that's the case.
Yes, I'll switch L2 with L3... may flow better.
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