a black butterfly
chases the cloud
damp earth / ws
what's up is down
ceiling spider / jm
ducks on the church roof
stand witness in the rain
afternoon nap / ws
granite moraine
waiting for the next
glacial movement / jm
hard liqour and beer
business picks up after 5 / ws
backwards-
black ant
pulling a centipede / jm
John Merryfield
William Sorlien
June 19, 2009
8 comments:
My mistake John; Rengay is 3-2-3-3-2-3. I think I said something else.
Otherwise, continue as is for 12 verses maybe?
Oh.. I missed that... I like that 3-2-3-3-2-3. I'm heading back out for work, let me see what the paint delivers later this afternoon. I'll remove my 2 line verse.
Lotta them tradesman are in trouble nowadays.
Speakin' of which, I might just load the truck and go on the road.
Now that sounds like trouble...
What's the title, John?
Hey Bandit
Had to change my last verse. It wasn't working for me. I went "non mystical" with a direct observation. My life right now is all work and its been hard to see things clearly. Unfortunately, my writing has reflected this. Things will change. I'll continue to observe and write and wonder mystic. How about "damp earth" for a title. I really like the hokku.
mystical-shmystical. No work today.
I was ignored by a carpenter ant.
AHH! Love it! That's rather brilliant actually. Omit and/or insert a few words... bingo.
Thanks, John. Maybe I'll give it a go.
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