winter morning
birds singing
in the dark
jm
bare feet on cold floors
alone in dawn's quiet
ws
unfitting uniform
her freckles clamber
over each other
jm
smoke and gossip fill the
factory girls' bathroom
ws
buoyancy of
the autumn moon
moths wash ashore
jm
once drawn to her flame
still a lingering heat
ws
growing deep
hulled wedding rice
thrown 29 years ago
jm
at times become the scarecrow
tending a meager crop
ws
desperado
toolbelt pouches full of nails
and sunflower seeds
jm
I make my own way
a prickly bed by choice
ws
dog days of summer
sweeping the dirt
with happy tails
jm
cold beer and crazy woman
having a howl at the moon
ws
green blue green blue
sunday butterflies
on a monday morning
jm
colors infatuate
she won't stop changing her mind
ws
somewhere large
blue whales
giving birth
jm
no job too small
we never say "no"
ws
a family disease
just one after work
can't hurt
jm
shade in the first season
protecting young tea leaves
ws
city tree
with the bike chain
unlocking white petals
jm
songbirds on a feeder
seesaw in spring wind
ws
A twenty verse nijuin linked-verse renku by John Merryfield and William Sorlien begun Saturday, March 7, 2009 and finished Wednesday, March 11, 2009
14 comments:
Workshop:
Might "ill-" be more fitting?
Clamber or clambering? I always catch grief
over the -ing gerund end of words.
I like this verse...I see the freckles.
Good call... clamber is better than clamor. clamor is more of a noise. But I kept unfitting which might elude to the uniform being able to come off. Not so much that its ill fit to a large body. More like that there is such humanity and beauty underneath the uniform. jm
I had to think about the clamber/clamor...
nice choice!
Unfitting...clever lad!
I finally remembered to add the kiyose link...
kigo: autumn-lingering heat
Is that an autumn reference?
Its kinda full-might the reader intuitively
infer more from less?
I appreciate the honor paid to our marriage-
but you're aging me, man! lol!
This is a fun workshop-can we continue the
autumn reference one more time?
the hulling rice was listed as an autumn reference in kiyose, so i went for it and included the wedding rice throwing tradition which might be too much but.... maybe not?
another autumn verse... sure! lead the way.
Hey John,
Just returned from throwing mud-even got some on the wall!
So kind of you to acknowledge our anniversary!
Marian thanks you, also!
Ya cracked me up again!
I worked with them desperadoes...God, I miss
those assholes!
John,
You and mimi_chan must join and assist in the
Moon Viewing Party...I insist!
http://haikubanditsociety.blogspot.com
A family disease...yes, John, I know that all
too well.
running to and fro today-saw these two kinglets
riding parallel perches on a feeder in strong wind, hanging on for dear life.
I assume they were ruby crowned kinglets, although this climate is alledgedly out of their range...What shall we name this thing? I guess they usually cull a title from the text.
Very nice. Like the seesaw. Maybe the title could be "seesaw"? It was a lot of fun and I have so much to learn. Can't wait to do more. Loved your full moon ku!
You and me both, buddy.
seesaw it is...quite apt for the feeling i've had the last few days, anyway.
Let's jump over to Green Tea and Bird Song.
mimi_chan was balking at the 'traditional' format, I think, which, after knowing her,
is classic mimi_chan.
In her honor, and for when she can breeze
in, let's go with a rough outline 22 verse
starting with her suggested hokku. I'll
take the second and you the third, and we'll
go from there in free-form renku ( SketchBook-
http://www.writingpoetry.org/sketchbook/ )
I'm going to make a spring reference anyway-might you refer to green tea? You'll see my
idea when you go there, certainly.
See you over there, friend.
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